Most Favoured Nation

When I left the United States after a four-year college degree stint, all my US friends were wondering how I would fit back in to Malaysian society. More specifically, I guess they were all silently wondering why on earth one would want to come back here given a choice.

And contrary to my initial beliefs when I first set out for the Promised Land, I myself wanted to come home. Over time, my experiences here only seem to reinforce that decision I made to return years ago. I guess one of the things that bugged me about "The Land Of The Free" was how unfettered everyone there really was not. There seemed to be a big push to belong - somewhere, to someone or something. Even if it was as obscure as "Vegans Who Eat Nothing But Black Soy."

Things are different here. Most of us, at some level, harbour an inclination to rebel on the quiet, and be different from the herd. Although really, at the surface it would seem as if we were a peaceful, tri-cultural at worst nation.

Dig a little deeper and you will find a nation of secret break-aways. People who have perfectly respectable, professional jobs that place a high emphasis on “strategic thinking” but dabble in the supernatural on Saturdays. People who look like someone’s boring uncle but are avid Elvis impersonators. People who look Chinese but are really part Indian and one quarter Japanese.

People who are avid mosque-goers but have a penchant for porn.

People who are sons to the Prime Minister but have ties to some underworld nuclear centrifuge manufacturer.

Someone told me yesterday that the PM’s son is now known as the de-facto Finance Minister. Pak Lah is apparently known to have responded to business proposals by saying, “You want to talk to business, talk to my son. He’s the businessman. I don’t know much about business.”

If I had a child, I think one of the first things I would teach him or her would be how to dig. And then, I would teach it how to cover up the hole, in the most subtle possible way.

I’m still willing to give our new leader a chance. But one chance is all he gets from me. Otherwise, I may just be forced to vote.

But I would stay. After all, if I really peel away all the layers, America doesn’t seem much more of a promised land than ours is. The only difference is at least, we have nice weather.