Still on the subject of marriages....

Call me on-sided but it's really difficult for me to be objective about situations like this. Especially when it involves my about-to-be-married younger sister.

Here's the short version of the wedding saga to date. Boy proposes to Girl but says he doesn't have money for a lavish wedding. He buys her a ring. Girl's father accepts his proposal and welcomes him into the family. Girl's father offers to throw a reception in the couple's honour and foot the whole bill. Girl's father even foregoes the usual tradition of hantaran or dowry.

What does Boy do next?

a. Arrange a small dinner for the two immediate families to get acquainted
b. Display some semblance of appreciation to father-in-law-to-be by means of fair cooperation with the wedding arrangements
c. Offer to forego his subsequent purchases of a new fish tank, DVDs, tech gadgets and the like in order to finance some small part of the wedding (i.e. his own outfit, the wedding cake, or even the photographer's fees)
d. For lack of cash, contribute in kind and volunteer to take on some executional tasks related to the wedding, e.g. coordinate one or two suppliers, make sure his side of the family RSVPs, or even just ensure they turn up properly attired.

Answer: None of the above.

This is what happens instead:
Boy waits for Girl to initiate a meeting between the families. Girl's family proceeds to buy dinner for twenty people, half of whom are members of Boy's family. Boy's family objects to being invited to the Bride's reception because it is too far away. Said family then proceeds to demand more tables than the five allocated. And question the dress code because they couldn't be bothered. Boy's family also expects half the angpow takings for the reception they didn't throw.

Then, and this is the kicker. Four weeks away from the wedding, Boy's family says yes, they would all like hotel rooms for the reception IF the Bride's father is footing the bill.

Not only that. Boy makes more money than Girl. But Girl ends up personally paying for her dress, his outfit, the wedding cake, the videographer and photographer, the florist and an assortment of other little things. She also pays for the honeymoon.

I think there's something wrong with the picture.

Okay, granted, this is a mixed marriage. Malay girl marries Chinese boy. Different cultures, different religions.

Call me an ignorant Malay girl, but I don't have any Chinese friends who would find the above reasonable behaviour within their cultural code. In fact, I don't know any culture that would condone such behaviour.

If this is pre-wedding jitters, I dread to see the arrival of First Grandchild.

Much as I love my sister, I think she has a tough choice. She can walk away now, from someone she loves and trusts with her heart. Or, she can stay, and accept the fact that she will most probably wear the pants in the household, be the bread-winner, financial planner and all things stereotypically male in a marriage.

Then again, this is the girl who once said she wanted God to create a Third Sex.

I guess we should be careful what we wish for.